Well, what a day it was for football, eh. First of all you’ve got John Terry redefining racism for a generation, and then you’ve got Rangers being voted into Division 3 of the Scottish Football League – a vote taken by the clubs of the Scottish Football League. The majority voted for it. Even Rangers fans wanted it.
So Football’s the winner, right? John Terry’s not a racist – HOORAH! Rangers in Division 3, which is what the fans wanted. HOORAH! Happy days.
Except not in Scottish football where the SFA and the SPL have decided that what people think doesn’t matter, and they want money. Lots of it. Because money’s good and you can throw it in the air and roll around in it and buy sex with it. Oops, I didn’t say they’d do that.
So everyone says put Rangers in Division 3 of the SFL and let them work their way up – that’s called “Sporting Integrity”. The SFA wanted them in Division 1 because it would have meant MORE MONEY but no – everyone else decided that “Sporting Integrity” was more important. Tsk, bloody do-gooders. We want to roll around in money and use it to pay for things.
Dang. So what are we going to do, fellow money-lovers? Let’s propose a second division of the SPL so that we can get Rangers back into the top flight and enjoy their money once more! But what’s that? A couple of years ago we said that it wasn’t feasible and that it would be A. Bad. Thing? Tsk. We were on DRUGS. You should never have listened to us, we were going through a difficult patch. We’re over that now, this time we’re off the loopy pills and we’re convinced it’s A. Good. Thing.
Stewart Regan, the SFA’s Chief Executive and Head Money Lover, said that there was only one option and that was for Rangers to start in Division One. Well, nobody wanted that, so now financial incentives (money) are being offered to Division One clubs to join a second division of the SPL. Do that, and SKY and ESPN won’t walk away and we’ll all have their money. We can throw it in the air and wallow in it.
So the small clubs effectively have a shotgun to their heads. Let Rangers off, let them play with the big boys, and we can have our money (well, OK, we can – but the smaller clubs can’t because they’re small and they don’t deserve it). So here’s a plan: let Rangers play with the big boys – but don’t actuallyplay them. Put your youth team out, or just stand around with your arms folded. Sporting integrity AND you have the money. Do it for four years – the length of time it would have taken Rangers to get promoted to the SPL.
Football’s the winner!