Rangers, the SFA and the SPL: Football’s the winner!
Well, what a day it was for football, eh. First of all you’ve got John Terry redefining racism for a generation, and then you’ve got Rangers being voted into Division 3 of the Scottish Football League...
View ArticleIt’s a gold summer for the sponsors of London 2012
What’s that? I did what? I used banned words? Oh no, the purple police are knocking on my door. I’m sorry, people, we’re going to have to go to brand prison for the duration of the Olympics. In brand...
View ArticleDaily Mail’s Jan Moir loses her tranquilisers, calls Marianne Vos ‘some bitch...
Did you watch the women’s road race? Wasn’t it good. We got silver! Well, OK, not ‘we’, but this girl who was riding a bike really fast, for like, ages, she got silver. She was great. Who won? Some...
View ArticleChinese girl swims really fast, must be on drugs
When I was 16, I was a total ninja when it came to making fart noises with my hands. I don’t really know how I discovered this particular talent, I guess it was the sweaty palms thing every time I saw...
View ArticleHow to be bad at Badminton and throw a match
Did you know that they actually played competitive badminton? Really, I had no idea. I thought it was just a laugh, like shove ha’penny and tiddlywinks. But apparently they have, like, proper Badminton...
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Daily Mail Launch Weightlifter Caption Competition
Don’t you just love the Daily Mail? No, really, don’t you just love it? No? Anyway, sifting through the various articles about children that have been killed around the world (why are they so obsessed...
View ArticleNever mind the Olympics, here’s the Olymp-tits, courtesy of NBC
Phwoooar, those Olympic women, eh? Phwoooooar, can’t get enough of them, can you. God, I bet Kleenex sales have gone through the roof over the last couple of weeks and it’s all because of those Olympic...
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Have you secured your Olympics legacy yet?
Word of the day appears to be LEGACY, folks – I hope you’re going to use it liberally because everyone else is using it and frankly, if you’re not using it, you’re not one of us. So have you secured...
View ArticleThe strange case of Michael Gove, the experts and the school playing fields
Does anyone remember the Olympic Games? Go on, try hard, really try to remember – we had great fun. We all talked of legacy and how we really must get kids to play more sport because a) they’re all fat...
View ArticleShock as Superstars 2012 exposes children everywhere to the concept of...
Wasn’t it great to see Superstars back on our TVs recently? Yes it was and, for anyone over forty who remembers the names Brian Jacks, Geoff Capes and Barry John… I bet you were also remembering those...
View ArticleJohn Inverdale’s dad told him to stick to radio – “Nobody wants to see that...
Yes…John Inverdale’s dad told him to steer clear of television because, quite frankly, he’s never going to be a looker and nobody wants to wank over video footage of him. However, John’s never let...
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